Dear Dad

HI Folks,
Well...tomorrow is the day. My Dad has been gone 31 years. It makes the week of Christmas especially hard for my brother and me while everyone around us is partying it up...our minds are elsewhere.
So I thought I'd write a letter to my Dad, even though I can't really send it. I believe in mediums and psychics, though I certainly don't live my life or make my decisions based upon their words. I do because I remember my Dad always telling us to look for signs, because, if he ever died we'd find them and it would be him trying to contact us. I've had too many signs and close calls in the last 31 years NOT to believe it. I respect those who don't, but I certainly believe. So I believe he will see it...just not in the conventional way.

Dear Dad,
I can't even imagine what you, a young father of only 47 years old, must have been thinking on this day, the day before you died, 31 years ago. I've been thinking about it alot. You had your heart attack in July, right between my birthday and yours and were in the hospital, then out, then we drove back to Montana for school to start. You were really sick in the car on the way home-so I drove. All of 16 and driving from MA to MT, with Bob in the passenger seat and you in the back resting. Still, you encouraged me, calmed me when I got scared driving all that way and reminded us to note the H (for hospital) signs along the way in case we needed to get you to one. Thankfully, we didn't.
I can only imagine you, knowing you needed surgery that may or may not save your life...having the tape you made us during that time is precious and I'm still not trusting enough to give it to someone to convert to CD. I'm going to try and get the courage to do that this year so we have it forever. I imagine you wanting us to know many things, because you knew you wouldn't be here to tell us, teach us, love us. Since I'm the same age you were I look at Little K and Little Mista (though they're not my kids, just the closest kids to me that I love) and think that my heart would be breaking, knowing I probably wouldn't see them grow up.
So, as an adult, my heart breaks for you as a person and a parent. As a kid, my heart just breaks, missing you.
Back in 1980 there were no quadruple bypasses (which you needed) or barely any triples...those were really new. Today those are both routine and folks are saved every day from what they learned from patients like you. Uncle Dick was saved because of this technology, I'm just sad it came too late for you.
You spent this day, Dec. 20, 1980 trying to recover from the surgery and live. I'm not sure what do we came to see you there, I can't remember whether it was this date or a day or 2 earlier...I just know my last memory-you were hooked up to tubes, couldn't talk really and saw me and cried.
I knew that was different than the Dad I knew always being strong for us and telling us "I'll be home soon and we'll go Xmas shopping. Your old Dad will be ok."
Then the call came-I remember Mom handed me the phone and it was Uncle Dick on the phone, from the hospital. "Your Dad didn't make it." Life was changed forever.
You taught me to be open, caring, loving. You told me the most important thing in life was to love and you loved Bob and me with everything. We felt it and we will never forget it. You said you wanted us to be healthy, happy and successful. You told us you wished your son would never go to war and he didn't.
Well, I've committed myself to be healthy since you left and Bob has gotten on the bandwagon too. We are happy but we certainly could be more successful (as anyone would say). So we've done what you wished for us and we will keep doing it.
I hope you're proud of us but I think you are. I hope, with all my heart, you can see us and know and see what we do. Whenever I see a dragonfly I know it's you. There was a HUGE one on our garage this summer, huge...and I knew that was one of the signs you taught us about. You also said we'd see birds and, at our house, there's a nest in our little tree, one in our bird house and one in our Japanese maple-we're surrounded each year and again I know it's you.
So my Xmas wish is the same as every other year since 1980-and I know it won't come true but I'm not willing to NOT make that wish.
One more day, that's all I want. A little girl's wish-even though I'm not so little anymore.
Love and miss you, Daddy.

December is here!

Hi to anyone still reading!
The most wonderful time of the year? For most...honestly not for me.
December 5 today and, well, I've gotten shopping 99% done (just have to regroup this week, see what I have, mail what needs to be sent, etc...) and I just finished making my holiday cookies. It's really nice to be able to stand for that long (rolling out cookie dough, cutting cookies and baking them) without having to sit down. You just do not know how much your life is affected by chronic pain until it's over. And, I'm thankful mine is over-I know many people have no cure, I wish they did.
So, my Dad's passing anniversary is December 21 and, frankly, I've been thinking about it a lot. I know...I should be thinking about holiday cards (have them, just finishing up addressing/sending), decorating (done, except tree which will come after our staff party at our house this weekend)...but it's hard.
I guess it's harder this year because I'm the same age as my Dad when he passed and I cannot even fathom what he must have been thinking. I mean, he was facing death and I cannot think of that without crying. I am ONLY 47 and my Dad was ONLY 47. Back then this age felt so far away, I was only 16...and now that I'm here I still feel young and still feel that I have so much to learn and do and give.
I try and imagine how he must have felt knowing he would be leaving behind my brother and me, how young we were...how much he still probably wanted to teach us, see us accomplish: HS graduations, weddings. He has missed so much of our lives.
As you all know I couldn't have kids, but I do have 2 kids in my life I love beyond reason...Little Mista (age 10) and Little K (aged 15) and while they're not exactly the same age my brother and I were (we were 16 and 13), it's close...too close for me not to think about it.
I think of all the times I wished my Dad was here to advise me, listen to me...all the times a girl needs her Dad's shoulder to cry on that I missed. I think about all the things my brother would have gone through much easier if my Dad was here. I listen to folks say they are going shopping with their Dad or to a ballgame or that Dad is coming over to help paint or fix something...and I'm envious, sometimes even jealous. I miss him so much.
Everyone tells you that you will get 'over' it but you don't. And, I don't think it matters how old your parent is when they pass-I mean, obviously my Dad was really young and we were young when we lost him but many folks get their Dad in their lives until they themselves are in their 60's (with parents in the 80's or 90's) and I think that's wonderful...but I doubt it hurts any less. Maybe it's easier to understand and grasp because, well, if someone passes in the 80's or 90's you can say, "They led a long, wonderful life." Well, I can't say that about my Dad.
I feel like I have so many things left I want to see, experience, do, learn and impart to Little K and Little Mista. I would really like to be like Jackie and Joan (two clients and sisters in law) be heading out to dinner and a movie with Karen when we're in our 70's...I want to move back to SoCal with my husband and buy a little house near the beach and enjoy my home State, which I was taken away from way too young and that I miss very much. I want to go back to being the beach bum I am at heart.
So, I find myself counting the days right now...16 more days. If I only had 16 more days what would I do? Stress about shopping and planning and getting the holiday perfect? Or worrying about the credit card bill for it all? Was that what my Dad was doing? No. I try and remember, it's hard, but I remember him spending time with us. He made us a cassette tape of advice and when he was heading to the hospital (he ultimately had a procedure that didn't work and that's why he passed) he said, "Don't worry, your old Dad will be fine and when I get back we'll go Xmas shopping."
I remember I was going to HS and working at McD's evenings and weekends and I remember everyone asking me how he was doing. (He was in the hospital for a week or so I think...it's hard to remember) I remember the anxiety of worrying about him and hoping and praying and making deals with G-d for him to be alright. Maybe some of those feelings come back every year...now as I think about it, I think they definitely do.
We never got to go shopping. So, to be honest, no...Christmas is not my favorite holiday or time of the year and that's why. And, no, you don't get over it. I never say that to people you might notice because I know you don't and you won't and you shouldn't.
That is your Dad and as any little girl knows (no matter how old you are)...he's the very first prince in your life.
Well, I'm lucky because I did find another special prince in my life-my husband and I wish every day the two of them could have met. They would have been instant besties. And sometimes when Hubs is talking about technology and computers and math...I think, he should really be having this convo with my Dad not me! I think of how my Dad would have helped my husband through his first semester of teaching, I can almost hear him giving tips and them figuring out homework assignments together...they both would have loved it. But, it wasn't in the cards.
So, I would just like Dec. 21 to come...and go. It's funny, it's the day with the LEAST amount of daylight in the entire year and, in this house, it certainly feels that way so it's ironic, don't you think?
And, starting Dec. 22, I live my life, not only for me but in honor of my Dad. He didn't get to live past that day in his 47th year so I want to do somethings, maybe outside my box, that he would love and enjoy and be proud of me for doing. I've already tried to do that but I'm going to double my efforts because I intend to live to be a very, old lady...I'm thinking somewhere in the 107-111 area...because, on that tape of advice, my Dad said he really wanted us to live long, healthy lives-and I have every intention of doing just that.
(Oh and maybe that's another clue for all of you why I push you all so hard-because I never want your families to feel that missing feeling that I have...missing my Dad.)
Alright then...up and onto Dec. 21 and beyond...
Love you Dad.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Hi All!
Happy Thanksgiving eve!
Tomorrow, K and I will be dancing/teaching together to a roomful of our clients and staff and I can't wait. We do it every year!
And, it always reminds me of the 'first Thanksgiving' AKA the first year Karen and I became friends...
It was 1994 and we met in Newton when she was subbing a class there and I was taking class there. We became fast friends and were at the Bertucci's in Newton one night after class. We were eating and chatting and wishing that, one day, we'd have our own Center. The Owner of that Center at the time was a real...pip. No one talked to each other before class, they just sat on their mats and read magazines, she never came out of the office until she was ready to get onstage (thereby never greeting her customers) and it was just a clicky, ridiculous atmosphere-though lots of the ladies were super nice! (There's a new owner now WHO ROCKS!)
Anyway...
The day after Thanksgiving was the first day I ever went to Karen's house to visit (I lived in Boston at the time...) and when I saw Mista from the back I thought it was her Dad!!! HAHA.
We had a fun day and lots of laughs like we always do...
And that was really the first day of our true friendship. So this time of year always reminds me...
Thereafter, she convinced me to move up here (North of Boston) and she trained me every day (towards my instructorhood) and we hung out, drank some mudslides, laughed, cooked and made Mista's life hell in general! (I had no Mista of my own back then...)
We started our classes in a Church hall that pre-dates the original Thanksgiving, I think...and moved onto a dance studio when Karen got pregnant with Kayla and we needed A/C. We still have many of the folks who danced with us back then still dancing with us now.
I put my eye on our current space (for our Center location) early on and never took my eye off it. The building was a mess, the parking lot dirt...but I had a feeling. (It had been a J Center over a decade before that)
So in early 1997 we made our move...our own Center. We moved in June 1, 1997 and had our first Thanksgiving class here (we had had 2 already in other locations) that year.
Hard to believe it's been THAT long...
We were the first to run a Thanksgiving day class and now everyone in our area does it. We also give away ONE apple pie...just one, even though they'll be, oh, 50-75 people in class. It's fun to have that one pie to give away.
Well, it's time for me to get ready for tonight's classes. We have our set all set for tomorrow-Shaking a Tail Feather for sure...
But, here's to my bestie. We've had good times and hard times...but we've done it all together. A few years ago I wasn't sure our friendship would make it...but we did. And I couldn't be more thankful!

Here it comes...

Hi Folks,
You know, sometimes there's stuff you want to post on FB and there's other times when you really just don't want to, or it's not enough space to 'explain' yourself, etc.
I guess that's what those of us that have blogs use them for!

Here it comes...the holiday season. I know there's joy and happiness and busy schedules...but there's also another side to the holidays and no one wants to talk about that. It is those holiday blues that come for some, if not all of us.

I tend to be a very upbeat person. My job is very upbeat and I am surrounded with all kinds of folks who pay for a good workout and want and deserve a positive atmosphere to enjoy while they are with us. I love my job-it has certainly kept me a 'glass half full' person where I might have been otherwise.
See, for some of us the holidays bring reminders of loss and sadness, mixed in with the peppermint mocha's and, lights and wrapping.
My Dad passed on Dec. 21 and we lost Ally, our canine baby, in November. Now, good things have happened during these months too...like Kayla being born in November and Karen and I really solidified our friendship the day after Thanksgiving...
But, I always feel myself sliding into a bit of sadness this time of year. I have to be honest. It's not every day but it's there and I just don't like it. However, I think if we talk about it, it makes it easier to handle.
Right now, I have many friends who are going through serious medical troubles. I worry about them. It brings me right back to that pit in my stomach I remember having worrying when my Dad was in the hospital all those years (decades) ago. So there's that. I don't want to worry them with my little troubles so I figured my blog was a good outlet.
You know, it's that little feeling you get when you're by yourself and you start to feel sad. You think about folks you've lost and how you miss them. Everyone around seems happy but you just feel that little 'nag' inside...
It's ok. We all feel that way sometimes but we don't talk about it. We talk about how busy we are, who is cooking or hosting the holidays, who is traveling, have you shopped, are you done? Wrapped? Is your tree up?
So when you're rushing around and forgetting to call your friends or family-take a moment and check in with them and make sure THEY are ok...especially if you know this is a time of year that's been tough for them in the past. Just call, say HI...that's all it takes.
And, if you're like me and you feel a little blue mixed in with your tinsel...surround yourself with friends and family. Plan fun things to do, even if it's driving around and looking at holiday lights in the neighborhood. Get that peppermint mocha or indulge in a special treat. Get your workouts in...that helps FOR SURE!
That's what I do. I 'turn that frown upside down' and think of all the positive things AND I think about those folks I'm missing and how they'd want me to enjoy the season.
Just don't keep it all in, ok? Let it out in whatever form works for you and reach out. You'll find a lot of support!

I know, I know...

HI All,
It's been awhile since I posted...sorry! I blog on www.chelmsford.patch.com, have FB and Twitter now I'm trying to spread things around!
Hope this finds you all with power (after our crazy a** Halloween storm) and doing well! It's been a great weather week thus far and I hope that keeps up!

Tomorrow is ONLY 2 weeks until Thanksgiving...hard to believe. We all kind of lost a week during the storm and its aftermath so I think that's why it seems like it's coming so darn fast!

I've been thinking a lot about my Dad the last few weeks. Why? Well, he was only 47 (my same age) when he passed in December 1980 and I just keep thinking...if I only had 6 weeks more to live, am I living every day and appreciating every day and telling folks how I feel about them and all that good stuff? I hope I am, I do try.
But, I look around at some people in my life, whom I do love and care for, who are wasting their time. I mean, they are wallowing in self doubt, self pity, beating themselves up about things that do not matter...throwing negativity into the world every day and basically, IMHO, wasting time. Now, I'm certainly NOT perfect in ANY way...I've got tons of flaws going on over here and I myself have days of self doubt, pity, negativity...but, I do try and pull it together and not WALLOW in it.
So, if you're reading this and you see yourself in the whole 'wallowing' bit...
Look, I get it. Life is hard. I've had REALLY hard times myself but I also know that it gets better. It does. I also know that I can always look around and realize that, no matter what I'm going through, someone else has it tougher. And, that makes me put things in perspective.
And, by the way, when you come to your last day do things like work aggravations, traffic, long lines at the store, being on hold 'forever' with customer service and all those types of things really matter? No.
I think of seeing my Dad, in the hospital, days before he died. He couldn't really talk to us because of all the tubes and I imagine what he was thinking...how he would miss us kids, his brother, his nieces and nephew...the life he had. I don't think he was thinking about how he hated traffic. I don't think he was wishing he didn't eat that bacon for breakfast. I'm sure he WAS thinking he shouldn't have smoked all those cigarettes-being that contributed to his heart condition. I don't think he was thinking about his bank balance, bank fees, what bill he didn't pay or what kind of car he drove. He wasn't worried about the clothes he wore, or if his house was bigger or nicer than anyone else's, or what he weighed and if he should be weighed less. He wasn't worried about his haircut or his job.
He was thinking of all the things he was going to miss with my brother and me. He looked at me and his eyes were saying he was sorry he couldn't stay with us, that he loved us and never forget that. I'm sure he hoped that he had taught us well, though we were kids, and that we would think of him as a good Dad...and never forget him.
So, if you're reading this and you're too focused on those things that don't matter, getting mad, being bitchy or negative about life...do me a favor ok? Think of my Dad. Think of yourself and if YOU only had, today, 6 more weeks to live. Would you keep on worrying about traffic, little slights, how much you weigh or whether you're where you're 'supposed' to be in life? Or...would you just 'be'.??
Please...just be. Be in the moment. You'll still get aggravated by things, we all do...but GET OVER IT. Don't hold onto it. It's not worth it. Enjoy your life because you just never know when you won't have it anymore. Look around at what you HAVE, not what you don't have. Appreciate all the people in your life instead of treating them like crap. What if that's the last time you talk to them? Because, you know what? They'll remember.
I remember the last thing my Dad was able to say to me before he left for the hospital for the last time.
"Don't worry, your old Dad will be fine and when I get home, we'll all go Xmas shopping."
I'm sure he also said, "I love you." but that I don't exactly remember.
We never went shopping.
But, I'll always remember how my Dad treated us. We know he loved us more than anything in this world. He was a good Dad, more laid back than you'd think. He was thoughtful and kind (and tough when he wanted/needed to be). He loved with everything and if you hurt him, he would never forget it. He was smart, funny and wise. Drill sargeant on the outside, teddy bear on the inside.
Hmmm, who does that sound like?
So, remember that people will remember how you treat them and how you made them feel.
And, hey, have a good day will ya?

What I'm loving right now...

HI Everyone!
Hope you are all well!
Thought I'd pop in and note what I'm loving right now (what I'm NOT loving is Lilly barking at the combo of Grand Opening balloons from Dollar Mania and skins at the leather store flapping in the wind...she doesn't like either one!)...

I'm loving...
-The Chew. It's a new 'talk show' on at 1pm (I know...a bad time for most folks but you can DVR) and it's all about food, nutrition and style. It's really great fun...and lots of good ideas. (What NOT to love-the toasted nutella, bacon sandwich...I would love to EAT it but I know it's a NO...)
-White House Black Market. I just bought my first dress from there and wore it to the wedding of one of my instructors' sisters. The wedding was awesome and I got many compliments on the dress. They are dresses for REAL women of ALL sizes!
-Walmart/Kmart/Sears layaway-I've not taken advantage of it...yet and I may not but I LOVE that they brought it back, especially for the holidays. It really gives us all options and in this economy we all need options!
-The big "J"-ok, I can still love it after 30+ years and the fact that I own the Center...I love it right now because of the great group of women who work with us-they support us, each other and are open, honest, professional people. As their "Mom" I can say I love them AND I like them. Check out our 'meet the instructors' posts on our FB page!
-My 2 new hips. Why? Oh let me count the reasons...I was able to wear a pair of my strappy, gold, wedge sandals last night (with my WH/BM dress) to the wedding and not die from pain. They are not 'walking' or 'standing for long period' shoes but I can walk normally (not like a gladiator) and stand for a good bit without pain. Teaching is a 10000% joy again, I can jump in and out of the car doing multiple errands in a day without feeling exhausted by the end. I can play with Lilly and, more importantly, WALK HER-again without dying from pain and being tired from every ding dang muscle in my body firing to keep me upright. These 2 pieces of high tech ceramic are a MIRACLE. Period. No question. You don't believe me? Too bad, it's true.
-Dollar Mania just opening in our mall. Lots of new folks coming to the mall-nuff said. It's good for all of us.

Well, that's it for now...check out our FB page and come in and dance with us will ya?

Happy 17th Birthday...to our Center

HI All,

Yet another rainy, humid day...but tomorrow is our 'birthday'!

Our Center is 17 and she's growing up fast. It seems like only yesterday we were setting up for our very first Open House, in the old church with a sad sign made out of a sawhorse and a cardboard sunshade. Sad...but it worked!

We had a card table for a desk and just me and K teaching. We had, maybe, 20 people but we got a few newbies that day in 1995 who are still with us!

Fast forward 17 years...

I still have nightmares no one will come.

I still run around like a NUT the week/day before getting things done/ready.

I still agonize over the One Day Sale offer, how many balloons to buy, if we have enough help on the desk...

And still wonder just how we're doing in this business that came from a chat over pizza so many years ago.

Here's how it went down:

Once upon a time the "Olympic one" (aka Karen) subbed a class in Newton where Anna just happened to be taking class, on her way to certification herself.

They struck up a friendship over the next few weeks...and one night after class decided to grab a bite to eat.

Karen was giving Anna tips on her upcoming audition and, by tips, I mean she was telling me what to do and making fun of me all through class...

So we sat at Bertucci's in Newton and said, "Wouldn't it be cool if we had our own Center one day..."

Um, yes.

Karen never believed it. We started in a church with 3 morning classes and 2 nights and a weekend. We taught all alone in the heat of the summer and freezing cold (literally freezing) bathrooms in the winter. We sent out postcards, lugged equipment and were having the time of our lives.

Then, Karen got pregnant with Little K and called Anna at work, "Dude, I cannot teach pregnant in this heat. Find us a place with A/C."

Uh, ok.

Cue the dance studio in Westford. Smaller? Yes. A/C? Yes. Low rent? Yes please. More classes, more customers...oh and a cute baby.

We outgrew that place super fast-thank you all!

I had been driving by and sitting in front of our current Center, it had been empty for YEARS and the building was being sold and revitalized by a local guy. We took a chance-Karen said they'd never go for it. I got approval from Corporate, the keys from the Owner (his daughter is our landlord today-what a great family, we are so blessed!) and off we went.

We painted like mad while baby crawled around-we had a couple weeks to get the place ready for a June 1 opening. We cleaned, we stressed...Mista built the desk and on June 1, 1997 we opened. It was SO big in here (3100 square feet compared to the 900 in the dance studio) and summer was coming...but people came, and came and came some more.

14 years later (in this same space) we have 32 classes, 14 instructors and many, many smiling, dancing faces in every class. We got whole families, couples, mothers and daughters, sisters, friends, co-workers...

And it all came from that one little conversation about 'someday'...

Well, folks the day is here and it's been here, thankfully, for 17 years.

So, to Karen...

I know you're here to keep me grounded when I'm dreaming with my head in the clouds and I'm here to grab your hand and lift you up with me into dreamland when your feet are too strongly planted on earth.

I hope for many more years of Open Houses, laughter, arguments and fun...because I know it's my dream come true and, secretly, I know it's yours too!

The Lost Week

Hi All,

The most important part of last week was yesterday-the day of rememberance for those lost on 9/11/01. That's really why I really have a hard time believing what we went through here last week...

Given that thousands of souls were lost, only 10 years ago, in a horrific attack on our Nation, it's hard for me to comprehend why I spent the week at the police station, writing certified letters and dealing with a client whose number one issue in life was the volume of our music and acting like a bully in class with a few of our instructors when she was really the only one bothered. (Chatted with another lady who totally listened to me, we had a productive convo-no problem!) And, when asked to leave permanently and stay away, decided to show up, unannounced and uninvited.

Let's think about that for a moment...

Really?!

We all have problems, right? Of course. Everyone is going through something and none of us know just what at any given time. I respect that. I've gone through some serious crap myself but I realize that it's NOT my right to take it out on, oh, everyone around me. (That's what husbands are for...KIDDING!) I also try and keep in mind that someone I'm dealing with may be going through something...but I and my staff do not deserve to be bullied, disrespected and treated like doormats.

Sometimes I have to be the 'bad cop' and tell a client we can no longer serve them. I hate it. I never want to do it. But do it I will if I see that this client is going to disrupt my staff and my other clients. And especially if I am not sure what threat they may pose with erratic behavior.

And when one of my instructors tells me she doesn't love her job anymore because she feels bullied and stressed coming in. That's bullying.

Definition of bully: "A blustering, quarrelsome, overbearing person who habitually badgers and intimidates smaller or weaker people."

We're here for folks to get fit, have fun and be part of a great group. Bullying we will not tolerate. Ever.

Hopefully, we are past this now and this client will move on, in peace, to another place. That's what I pray for. Go in peace.

Raining on my parade

Hi All,
It's our 2nd rainy day (all day). Hopefully, we'll have a great weekend! Unfortunately, I'm not talking about THAT rain today...

I start back at my actual, real, normal schedule tonight and I'm so excited. I wanted to spend yesterday learning new routines and revamping my set but...

There was quite a lot of 'raining on my parade' around here yesterday.

As you all know, we've been in business a LONG time-almost 20 years at this point. This means many good things-lots of long time clients, good community exposure, success...but it also means some 'not so good' things.

I've talked to many J Owners, and our DM, and we all say the same thing-why is it that some people patronize a business for many years and think they can then tell the business owner how to run their business? Now I'm not talking about the occasional suggestion, complaint or concern. I'm talking about, "YOU need to do this and YOU need to stop doing that."

We pride ourselves on being a personal business. We know everyone's name, many times their families, kids...we share their joys, sorrows and challenges and we try and always be a positive influence in their lives. Sometimes, however, that closeness we share turns into something negative. There comes a time when someone who has been with us 'forever' turns from a positive influence into a less than positive one. The person starts acting out, as if they are a child, and demanding negative attention from our staff and from us. Thankfully, most of the time, we can talk it through and keep everyone happy-us, our staff and our clients, including the person with the issue. And, many times, folks just have an issue with something, bring it up and we address it and fix it the very best we can. Of course there are those times when we cannot change or meet their expectations and issues flare.

This week has been rife with that thus far. Thankfully, I realized many years ago that I cannot please everyone. I also realized (and say it many times in class...) that my job is to keep 3000 women happy. Let that sink in for a minute. Could YOU do that? Ask the man in your life. Could HE do it? Let me help you...NO. No, no, 1000x no. No one can. As a woman I already know we're fickle, difficult, emotional and that's not even during our 'ladies days'. That's just a typical day. Oh, you're not like that? Ok...right.

I have given it the 'college try' and, frankly, I'm proud of how I handled this week. I won't stand for bullying of my staff, I took a stand and stayed calm and collected. I acted with kindness but firmness. We warned, cajoled and to no avail.

Unfortunately, nothing I have done or said is going to make a difference. My DM has gotten involved and, still, this person is not going to be calmed nor will they be able to continue on with us.

Yes, sometimes it comes to this. I am so thankful it's rare. We ask only for mutual respect (we give it and, honestly, we deserve to get it back) and a realization that this is a group activity and one person cannot dictate how things are. We follow industry guidelines and Inc. guidelines. We are meticulous when it comes to temperature, sound, quality, facility and comfort for our clients. We know that, as noted above, we will still not be able to please everyone. I wish we could but that is an impossible task for anyone. And, while we're ok with that-we wish it could be different.

As I bid farewell to the tropical storm that came through here this week, I am saddened but resolute nonetheless. For the good of my staff, KL and me and our other clients what's done is done. It has been years since I've had to do this and I hope it's many years until I have to do it again.

And, so far as 'raining on my parade' goes-it's part of the job and I take this job completely as it is. I still love it, and all our clients. Everything that didn't get done yesterday will get done. all in it's time.

Here's to peace in the valley.

And...we're back.

Hi Everyone,

(Or at least those still reading...)

I'm sitting here at the Center and it's the quiet time I've missed every Saturday for the last 4 weeks. I've loved being home with my family, getting up later and eating breakfast together but...I've also terribly missed my other love-teaching.

It feels a bit like the first day back at school and I truly wanted to get up at 4am and come over here...I didn't, but I certainly wanted to.

You know, lots of people have jobs they love and lots of people have jobs they do not love. Then there are those of us who have a calling in life and we're lucky enough to do that as our 'job'. I am one of those lucky few. And, I put job in quotes because, well, it's not a job if you love what you do with just about your whole heart.

See, in 1981 I found Jazz. I was in high school and they were holding classes at the State Fair grounds, right next to the cow paddock. (Yes, it smelled in the summer.) It was 'dancing' exercise and, since I have THIGHS, I wasn't allowed in a real dance class (20-somethings, back in the olden days girls with thighs weren't allowed in dance class, thankfully that's changed now). So, it was perfect for me. We danced in stirrup tights and bare feet (hold on...that was the style back then AND there were no shoes invented for exercise yet). I performed in public for the first time on the back of a flatbed truck at the State Fair, surrounded by hay. I'm convinced that's where my hay fever comes from...

I was hooked.

Years later, I realized that my calling in life is to hook YOU...and by 'hook' I do NOT mean 'get your money and not care if you're really fit/healthy'. You know, like the regular gyms do. Our mission here IS to make you fit and healthy FIRST both inside and out. And, if you've taken even a few classes with us, you know what the word 'hook' means. It means love, it means joy and it means fun.

So, now that I'm back to 'yell' at you and push you-try and remember that, when you have a calling in life-there's PASSION in what you do. What you're hearing is me and my passion for keeping you fit and healthy. You know-like the favorite teacher you HATED in school, who pushed you, who knew you could do better and MADE YOU DO IT. At the time you called him/her every name in the book but, later, you realized they wanted the best for you and pushed you because they cared. I care. We all do.

If I didn't care I would have given up teaching when my pain was so bad I could barely move. I would have quit when I could barely walk and was taking more Advil than any human being should take in one day. If I didn't care I would have quit when I was told, at age 45, that I had a birth defect and surgery was my only option. I would have quit after the first surgery when most people (and thankfully NOT my surgeons) told me I couldn't do it anymore. I would have quit when the mean girls were getting me down. I would have quit after this second surgery when I found out there are NO OTHER Jazz instructors in the WORLD with 2 hip replacements.

I don't quit.

And you better not either.

I lead by example, I live what I say.

That is passion, that is integrity and that's how we run this place, every single day.

So, when you're making faces at me in the back row when I'm yelling at you to work harder-do it. Because...

I'm going to save your life whether you like it or not.

You can thank me later! ;)

It's been awhile...

Hi All,
If anyone is still reading...sorry it's been awhile. Always look for us on FB, we're there daily!So
It's actually been awhile for a few things...
Summer has been great, except for Hurricane Irene who interrupted our lives briefly. My heart goes out to all those seriously affected. Prayers to you.
We've had friends lose loved ones-LD, PA and CC...prayers to all you and your families during these tough times. We are so sorry for your losses, we certainly know how that is.
KT is moving on-she will take some time off teaching to focus on her full time job and, hopefully, she'll be back teaching one day!
Little Mista is starting middle school and Little K is starting (eek!) high school!
And, as for me...
I had my second hip replaced. Remember, I have (had) CHD aka congenital hip dysplasia on both hips and had my first one replaced last year. I was going to wait another year to get the 2nd one replaced but the pain just got the best of me and I vowed I would not live in pain anymore. I try and say what I mean and mean what I say...so my 2nd surgery was the first week of August.
So, here we are, the last week of August, Labor Day weekend looming...
It's 'been awhile' since I walked without pain, and a limp...
It's 'been awhile' (uh, forever) since I walked like other folks walk, without my pelvis turning from side to side (had to walk like that since birth with the 'bad' hips)
It's 'been awhile' since I went on a vacation where I could be active if I wanted to be (we're planning in Italy trip next Spring)
It's 'been awhile' since I made a new friend and I have, in my PT Laura. She helped me SO much the year before my 1st surgery, gently giving me advice and pushing me without being pushy. I just love her. I'm working with her this time too and I'm looking forward to us being friends, not practitioner and patient after next week!
It's 'been awhile' since I completely trusted anyone and I put all my trust into ProSports Ortho and Dr. S and Dr. R. You know what? I was right to do so. I have matching scars, 2 amazing recoveries, the most high tech hips known to man and my life back. And, I was told Dr. S #1 is doing GREAT (he was to be my surgeon originally but was diagnosed with cancer the week of my 1st surgery. He is doing FAB and is currently fishing in the Arctic Circle! You go Dr. S #1!!!)
It's 'been awhile' since I could dance at a wedding (couldn't really at Melanie's, Kristen's or Jess') and I'm looking forward to dancing at SheriAnne's. (Sis of one of our new instructors)
It's 'been awhile' since I could put my sneakers on normally-really looking forward to that.

See, when you have a birth defect you miss out on a lot of things. But, I'm lucky. I didn't find out about this until I was 45. I'm so glad I didn't know my whole life because I feel like I might have used it as an excuse not to be active or fit or healthy. Instead, I was fit, healthy and active my whole childhood, playing tennis, dancing and doing Jazz since I was 17. When you don't know you're different, you don't 'act' different and you don't 'do' different.
When Dr. S told me and showed me how different I was...I was mortified. I thought, wow that stinks. I cannot have surgery. I cannot allow someone to cut me open. I will not be in the hospital. I was scared to death.
As noted above, it took me about a year to get my mind around the idea and then, once I did, it was full speed ahead. It was amazing, miraculous...easier than I thought.
The whole process has been life changing, which is weird because my whole life is changing other people's lives...and while Jazz did change mine (and honestly kept me out of a wheelchair and that's the truth-straight from my world class surgeons), I really didn't feel like anything else in my life changed my life. Or maybe I thought I was done having life changing experiences...thankfully, that's not the case.
What I've learned is that I have been blessed with a group of doctors who lead the world in this type of surgery, they gave all their expertise and skill to me, 2x, and it has given me a life I could hardly remember.
I no longer have to buy the biggest bottle of Advil at CVS.
I can walk through the mall without getting tired (tired because all my muscles were firing like mad to keep me walking).
I can plan an Italian vacation with my husband, complete with walking through Rome and up the Spanish steps.
I can walk my puppy for longer than a couple minutes.
And, most importantly, I can kick all your a**es even better than ever.
Who's excited????
ME!

Happy Wednesday!

Hi All,
Hope you are doing well and hope some folks are still checking in-I know it's been slim pickin's here for a bit but I'll try and do better at posting!
Remember, we're on FB-so message or email me for more info over there and you can keep up with the crazy every day!

Well, it's the 3rd rainy day in a row and we thought we were getting Spring for a minute but it's gone back to what I call a SoCal winter. Now, we live currently in New England but we're having that kind of weather-definitely NOT our Spring.

So, Lilly and I are hanging out and laying low until it's time to head into the Center and get ready for tonight's classes. She's snoozing and I'm updating the blog and just relaxing. I'm at that age where my period (sorry to any guys reading) really kicks my a** and makes me super tired so I try and rest as it's 'coming on' so I can give my energy and strength to class. It's annoying and I can tell any of you younger girls reading that peri-menopause is not for sissies. UGH. BUT, it can be handled with good nutrition, some rest and talking to your doctor if need be. Do not be shy talking to your doctor at ANY age! If you're having an issue, go talk it over!

Lots of crazy going on this week and there was something in the news yesterday (locally) that really made me think on a few fronts...
It was the story of a possible gunman inside a HUGE local mall. 2 mall employees reported a guy, in the mall, with a rifle and called the mall security; mall security then called the Town police and it escalated to the State and Federal authorities. The mall (again, a HUGE area mall) was evacuated and a friend of mine was even there with her young daughter. (They got out quickly and are just fine.)
It was all over the 'breaking news' on TV, shows were pre-empted and it was running for hours on the TV. Within this time (and relatively quickly), the guy described contacted police and showed them that he had an umbrella, just an umbrella. This umbrella was in a carry bag, slung over his shoulder and it had a black handle and, indeed, it did look kind of suspect but, seriously? They had 4 State Police helicopters over the mall, every cop from 3 towns surrounding this mall and FEDERAL ATF agents. While I'm glad it was NOTHING (I frequent this mall as do many of my friends), I also think maybe we could have stepped down the response abit until we were sure it was a guy with a rifle. They did have video and were able to quickly confirm the guy who called police himself WAS the guy and he brought the umbrella with him.
All I'm saying is definitely 'see something say something' but interject common sense into things. If the guy isn't acting suspiciously (and this guy was NOT) and it's a rainy day (it was), then take a second look before we upset hundreds of people, scramble the SWAT team and find out it was an umbrella!
Let's hope for a calmer rest of the week!

How are you at forgiveness?

HI All,

Hope you're all having a good week. Me? I think the Full Super Moon is still hanging on into this week-big time....and not in a good way.

This week, I was thrown a huge curve ball in my life. No, not from Mr. P&P thank G-d, he is my rock for sure. But it was someone very close and I reacted a lot different than I thought I would in a situation like this.

Sorry, but I cannot go into details but I can tell you that I always thought of myself as a forgiving person; however, knowing there are some things I might not be able to forgive or that I would explode with anger if 'X' happened.

Well, someone close to me has disappointed me in a way that is WAY above what I ever expected from this person. WAY above. I mean if you had told me this was going to happen I would NEVER have believed you. You could have done or said anything and I would not have believed you.

I was blindsided. Period.

But...

I love this person and I didn't explode in anger like I really thought I would have.

I didn't freak out.

I went into calm "we need to take care of this" mode.

Oh, I've had my moments of sadness, embarrassment and anger over the last few days. For sure.

I'm not emotion-less about it, not at all.

I do not deserve this and this person has told me this.

But...

We are where we are and we have to fix it now.

See, what I've learned (I guess, because I didn't know until now that I'd learned it) is that EVERYONE makes mistakes and sometimes they are HUGE ones but, still and all, we ALL do it. We make choices to act or NOT act when we should that are mistakes.

This person was paralyzed with fear, didn't act and it has caused a big problem.

But...

Now I know and we can fix it. And now I see that this person has been suffering, silently for awhile after a pretty bad couple of years in life. This person needs my help, not my yelling and anger. Oh, they know I'm angry, hurt and disappointed but they also know, because I told them, that I know we all make mistakes.

"To err is human, to forgive divine"

Honestly, I'm not sure I could be this calm without having read that book, "Heaven is for real". It's by that little boy who had a medical emergency and gives details of Heaven, family he met there, and other things that are impossible for him to have known. Really. It really touched me.

And it made me realize that while we're here we're supposed to be learning. Nothing here is certain. Nothing here is truly 'safe'. The little boy in the book told his Mom, when she asked him if he was scared up in Heaven, "Mom, down HERE you're scared and you never know what's going to happen. In Heaven you're safe and happy ALL the time."

Well there you go.

So, if my 'person' is reading this....

I love you and I forgive you. Now let's fix it and keep moving. It's a lesson. It's a WHOPPER of a lesson but a lesson just the same...for both of us.

Are YOU a mean girl?

HI Everyone,
Recently I was at a large business meeting with many of our staff and K. We have these district-wide meetings 2x per year and our DM does a great job with them. She always gets us yummy food, has them at a convenient and nice hotel with a parking garage and gets us out early. These are 5-6 hour meetings and they've got to be ridiculously tiring for her, as it takes her whole week and just a whole day for the rest of us.
I always learn something to bring back into our business and we were, for the 13th year in a row, awarded a top level of Platinum. Our clients and staff make that possible and we are so thankful.

Unfortunately, the negative part of this meeting is the 'mean girls' who persist on acting (and dressing) like they are, oh, 12 years old and are in middle school. Certain people won't talk to or even look at certain other people and it used to bother me a lot. We attended the meeting this year having worked closely with 2 brand new business owners and seeing it through their eyes was exciting on the one hand but made me sad on another hand.
S and L opened only a couple months ago and are doing it right. They are dedicated, positive and have created a warm, caring place for folks to workout, meet friends and get fit. They are excited about every new experience and, while they've attended meetings before while working for someone else, this is the first one attending as owners themselves.
On the positive end-it was exciting to watch S get up and talk at the meeting about her new place and L there to support her. I'm sure they will be getting an award next year with all their hard work and dedication.
On the negative end-there were mean girls there who ignored them, refused to clap when S went up to talk and wouldn't even LOOK at them.
One of these people has been S's friend for a year or so and was very cold to her at the meeting in front of another person from a place S formerly worked. That latter person wouldn't even LOOK at S or L. Here's the thing, if you are someone's friend you're their friend all the time, if you're with someone who is not their friend, why would you also act like you're not their friend?
Now, while there are a couple people at these meetings that won't talk to or look at me, I could care less at this point. Your loss beyotches. One I fired for insubordination and the others are just jealous of our success. They are lame, immature, ignorant and don't deserve my time so I don't give it a second thought.
But, it broke my heart that S was upset and hurt by these immature people in her life.
Women, why DO you do that? One of these gnats in my life I once attended a social event where she was present and when I walked up to the table to say HI to everyone, she literally pretended she dropped something and didn't sit back up until I left the table. Can you say IMMATURE?
Why would you not just say a quick HI and move on? Do you think you're hurting the person you're ignoring? You're not. You look a fool. You look ignorant and ridiculous and everyone sees that.
Do you think you're punishing that person for whatever they supposedly did to you?
You're not. Again, you just look a fool.
If someone has hurt you and you have hurt someone else-put on your big girl panties and VERBALIZE. Use your words woman. Most people (not all, but most) will apologize for any slight because it may well NOT have been intentional. While there are evil people in this world (and I have met some...DH you KNOW who YOU are), most people are just misguided or misspeak and would clear things up with you in a heartbeat.
Honestly, you just look stupid when you ignore and act like a 'mean girl'.
Now, we all engage in a little gossip or write on the 'catty comment sheet' for those dressed like, ahem, ladies of the evening at a business meeting...but you can be civil and nice to all people in person, even if you dislike that person. That's having manners. You're not going up and engaging in a full blown 'fake' conversation, you're just being pleasant and saying HI.
Oh and all these women HAVE KIDS so what the hell are they teaching them? You cannot teach your kids not to bully if you do it.
So, to all you mean girls at our recent meeting-get over your damn self. All you accomplish with your 12 year old actions is looking stupid and immature. You don't have to like everyone and you can even really dislike someone but act your age for God's sake and remember something we all learned in kindergarten:
"Sticks and stones may break my bones but words (or lack thereof) will never hurt me."

Are you a planner?

Hi Folks,
Long time no blog. Hope this finds anyone still reading well and making it through this ridiculous winter...and I do mean ridiculous.
We have snow banks in our yard that are STILL 3 feet high (previously 6 feet high) and this may shorten the 15 years we said we'd wait to move back home to SoCal...we shall see.
On a nicer note, Mr. P&P graduated from BU with his Master's and his class ring is on order and I got him a nice paperweight at a local jeweler to commemorate the occasion. His diploma is up, displayed nicely in our home and I am so proud of him. Mr. P&P is an ambitious, driven guy and has a whole plan laid out for the future-which I love.
I am a planner, but he is an uber-planner!
Are you a planner?
Of course, as they say, "The best laid plans..." So even if you are a planner, you must be flexible and realize that, at times, plans must be changed, updated or you just have to 'go with the flow'...
I remember my 'original' life plan:
Get married young (done...and divorced young unfortunately) and have 2 kids young.
Uh, my kids are four legged and furry so that didn't work out "as planned" either. There's a little thing called "unexplained infertility" that got in the way.
The young divorce, while painful, was ultimately a good thing and, after many years of mourning the loss of having kids, I've come to terms with not being able to have any.
At some point, especially when your best laid plans veer out of your control, you have to learn to accept and even revel in your life as it is.
I get to be around kids all time-from K's kids whom I love like my own, to TM's kids and MO's kids who I get to look after, now and again, when they sub afternoon classes. I get to see Mel's kids too-miracles both of them and I have my furry kids who I love as much as I would love human kids of my own. I have a GREAT husband (see above) and I wouldn't certainly have met him if I was still married to the first one. We just outgrew each other, by the way...I was only 19 and he only 22 when we got married...babies. We had no business getting married but of course we knew it all so we did anyway. Stupid. I'm sure he's happy too and feels he's where he is supposed to be-just like I do.
So, remember, no matter if you're just starting out or are facing a milestone birthday-don't sit there and lament..."Oh woe is me, my plans didn't work out or aren't working out." Trust that you are just where you are supposed to be and, at some point in your life, it will all be revealed to you. That does happen, it's happened to me many times. So, I plan, Mr. P&P plans and then we travel the road 'the big guy' wants for us.
And, you know what? We are right where we are supposed to be.
Happy Friday!

Second chances

HI Everyone,
For those on FB, you know that I am enamored with the story of Mr. Ted Williams. He was a homeless man for the last 10 or so years and he has a golden voice! He went to school for radio announcing and had a great career until the early 90's when drugs and alcohol, admittedly, took over and he lost his home, family and found himself on the street. He also admits he did petty crimes (nothing violent) to feed his drug habit. In the last year, he has found a wonderful relationship with God and has been sober for over 2 years. He was panhandling on the street and was SO respectful, positive and kind to passersby, that they would come BACK to hear his voice.
3 days ago a reporter came by with a video camera and it went viral.
Now, he has job offers, a new apartment and did the voice over to start the Today show this morning. He is eloquent, polite and well spoken and SOOO thankful for this second chance. It was amazed to be at the Today show, since he grew up in NYC and watched Today his whole life.
He had been praying that his Mom would live long enough to see him bring himself back from the low points of his life.
He lives by the Golden Rule-treat others as you want to be treated.
Now, this hit a cord with me and I think it applies to all of us.
Never judge a book by its cover, don't judge people in general and everyone deserves a second chance. Ok, there ARE instances where a few people on this planet who may not deserve a second chance. (Mass murderers, child killers...)
Mr. Williams asked that we, as people, not judge the homeless. And, honestly, we shouldn't judge ANYone.
Oh and don't judge yourself by the way and beat yourself up.
Mr. Williams was at the lowest point any person can be. He was drug addicted, living on the street and he maintained his character and politeness, is in recovery from his drug addiction and thanks God for every, single day. He remained positive and as he walked through his journey he learned something about himself and it has brought him to this day, the day when his life turns around and he gets to decide what happens next.
We all get second chances in life, maybe not this dramatic, but we get them. I know I have.
And, like I always say, it's how you get back UP in life that shows your character.
So, when you're presented with your second chance-make sure you grab it with both hands just like Mr. Williams!