Twas the week before Xmas

Well, here it is, the longest week of my year.
Many people probably wonder why I am not the most Christmasey of people or why I'm such a drill sargeant when I'm teaching class...well IF you were wondering, here you go...if you don't care, please feel free to skip this post!
1. Not a huge fan of Christmas
No, it's not because we celebrate both Hanukah and Christmas in our house and I'm the Hanukah side. It's because, on December 21, 1980, my Dad died. The last thing he was able to say to me the week before, when he went into the hospital, was "I'll be home soon and we'll go Christmas shopping."
I know that may seem simple and not such a big deal to most people but it was a big deal to me. I was only 16 and I was always a Daddy's girl. I thought (and still think) my Dad was the smartest, greatest guy I'd ever met. He was the calmer (aka NOT crazy) parent and taught me lots of things in the short 16 years he was here parenting me.
So, I try and keep my smile and happiness during the holidays but it's a little tough, especially this week. I can usually make it fine until this particular week. I try and do fun, upbeat things, be really silly in class and laugh alot because it helps.
So if you were wondering why I don't relish hearing Christmas carols starting at Halloween or trolling the mall looking at Christmas decorations, that's why.
It's 30 years this year, it's a big one. Oh and in case you were curious...NO the hole in your heart never goes away.
And I'm envious (not jealous because that is ugly) of all the adult women I know who have their Dads to put together things, help in their businesses and homes and go to games with and all that. That's my wish every year but I know it can't come true.
2. Why I'm such a drill sargeant in class.
So that brings me to WHY I'm such a nutball about pushing you all in class and being so tough on you.
Please see #1 above. My Dad did NOT know that he had high cholestrol, high blood pressure and a bad heart. As noted, it was 1980 and there were probably 1-5 doctors in the WORLD doing the quadruple bypass he needed to live and those few were not accessible to most patients. And, back then, he was also smoking 2 packs of cigs a day. In those days, we still didn't know smoking was as bad for us as it is and most folks certainly didn't get regular physicals and the testing we get now, in minutes, in the doctor's office. (Blood pressure, glucose, EKG, cholestrol screening...)
I know FOR SURE that if he HAD known what we know today he would have exercised daily, gone to the doctor and done just about anything to stay with us as long as possible. He didn't get that chance...
So I'm giving it YOU every day in class. I'm saving your lives whether you like it or not-you've heard me say that before and it's true.
I had to save my own life-I had to read the writing on the wall of my family medical history and had to take care of myself. I had to learn that exercise and eating well help you live longer. I had to learn to NOT be afraid of going to the doctor and getting those diagnostic tests (I had having blood drawn but I learned to GET OVER IT!) you need every year to stay healthy and find issues EARLY, before they become life threatening.
If you won't fight for your family to have you in their lives for a good, long time then I will fight for you.
What you see in that drill sargeant is someone who lost someone they love and it could have been prevented in today's world. With all we know about NOT smoking, getting tested, eating well and exercising, YOU have no excuse to let yourself go. If you do, change it. If you keep letting yourself go and do NOT change it-then you will have to live with the knowledge that you made a choice. You cannot say you truly love your family (or yourself) if you do that to your body.
It's not about eating 'perfectly' and exercising EVERY day-but do your best. Try. Look at those kids, grandkids, nieces/nephews, friends, spouses, partners, co-workers, neighbors, dogs, cats...all the people who rely upon you and think about them having to live without you. Let me help you...it STINKS.
There will be a hole that can never be filled by anyone but you. Yes, they will live again, they will laugh again but it will always be there, in the background...forever.
So do yourself a favor, the next time I'm pushing around the J floor-remember where I'm coming from and try not to roll your eyes at me and dog it. I want to know you when you're 100 years old. I want to hear that you lived a long, healthy life and got to see every part of your family and your life and that, in the end, you felt happy and gratified.
That's the gift I try and give, every class, in honor of my Dad. I know he's proud of his little drill sargeant.
See you in class.