Pirates? What's next, locust?

Hi All,
First, everyone is doing GREAT on Jazz it Off! You guys rock! Keep up the good work, we're in the home stretch and we can't wait to see who has lost the most inches this time around!
Second, pirates are in the news. Pirates people. Now, I realize this is a real problem in the African area of the world and I certainly don't mean to belittle that. But it seems recently that you think you've 'heard it all' and then you hear something like pirates in the news. I mean, it's the LEAD STORY on the Today Show.
Oh and wassup with all these people calling 911 when the fast food restaurant is out of chicken nuggets. Or when they believe they've locked themselves INSIDE their car when they simply need to lift the door lock and get the heck OUT of the car!????
People are all, "Uh they have no chicken nuggets and they are trying to force a double cheeseburger on me."
Seriously...
Let's review...
911 is for REAL emergencies. You think you're having a heart attack, call 911. You witness a crime or are in an accident, again 911. You wake up in the middle of the night and think someone's in your home, call 911.
You do NOT call 911 for the following:
-Lack of your particular high fat, high calorie food at Mickey D's
-CVS is out of mini eggs
-Your mother is trying to guilt you into having holiday dinner at your house
-Your kids keep screaming "Mom" and following you so closely you cannot go to the bathroom alone
-Your J instructor is doing 'that routine' again and you simply hate it
-Your husband will not remember to take out the trash
-You forget where you parked your car at the mall
-A Facebook quiz gives you a weird name you cannot imagine 'should have been' yours
Hopefully, you get the point...I'm sure you do.
Now, if you see locust-CALL! (I kid, I kid...)