Well, it's certainly been a bumpy ride lately-divorce, moving into a tiny apartment with your brother, getting laid off a ton of times while every Company in America merges, counting change to buy the essentials, making it on your own, not moving back in with your Mom because you're stubborn enough and audacious enough to think you can do this on your own. Some days (lots) are long and scary and lonely. It's going to get a little worse before it gets better but, hang in there, better days are coming. One day, everything you dream will come to you. (Just like that Disney ad...)
In the next 25 years...
Your brother will move back out West to find his way and you'll get a crazy roommate and, thankfully, get rid of her, meet your best friend (another crazy ride but, in the end, worth it), become a Jazzercise instructor after losing 90lbs, open your own business, meet an amazing man, get married, meet thousands of amazing people and have a hand in changing their lives. You will pay it forward to 36 women, mentoring them to become instructors too and build a dream team of 17 instructors, 15 to help you and your friend in your business. You'll get to take a vacation after working your ASS off for 10 years-again, totally worth it. You will not be counting change to pay for the essentials, you'll learn you had a birth defect that caused you pain, almost robbing you of the job you love, you'll get that surgically fixed, breeze through surgery for that (thanks Jazzercise) and one more thing...finally finding out why you could never have kids. You will get to visit Hawaii to celebrate feeling better at 50 than you do now, promise.
You will be able to help people the way you were never helped. You will remember how it feels right now to feel alone and lost and not know what the future will bring and you will reach out to people and help them NOT feel that way, every chance you get.
You will be misunderstood, underestimated and hurt, but you will remain strong and focused.
You will get to watch two cool kids be born and become a special part of their lives. You will work harder than you ever thought possible, then work harder still, but it will bring you rewards you never imagined. You will reunite with your Dad's family, be welcomed in like no time has passed and be able to hold your Uncle's hand as he lives his last few days-more importantly letting him know you love him and then be able to be there for your aunt and cousins.
Other family will disappoint, but you will gain a closer relationship with your brother, see him get married and be able to give him a canine baby-you'll have two canine girls who you love more than anything, lose one to cancer and experience one of the darkest days of your life.
You will laugh again, promise.
The struggle you feel right now, at 25, will slowly disappear as the future unfolds, the question of 'will this ever get any easier?' will be answered.
You will build a small circle of good people who make this struggle worth getting through. (You know who you are...)
You will mean what you say and say what you mean. You will be a woman of action. You will keep your promises. You have learned a lot but still know there's a lot left to learn.
You will realize you raised yourself and did a damn good job. You will have a loud voice, a tough exterior and a soft interior and not apologize for it.
So, 25 year old me...hang in there, don't give up, don't quit. You've got a long life to live and it's a good life so hang on and enjoy the ride of the next 25 years! Love you!
