How are you at forgiveness?

HI All,

Hope you're all having a good week. Me? I think the Full Super Moon is still hanging on into this week-big time....and not in a good way.

This week, I was thrown a huge curve ball in my life. No, not from Mr. P&P thank G-d, he is my rock for sure. But it was someone very close and I reacted a lot different than I thought I would in a situation like this.

Sorry, but I cannot go into details but I can tell you that I always thought of myself as a forgiving person; however, knowing there are some things I might not be able to forgive or that I would explode with anger if 'X' happened.

Well, someone close to me has disappointed me in a way that is WAY above what I ever expected from this person. WAY above. I mean if you had told me this was going to happen I would NEVER have believed you. You could have done or said anything and I would not have believed you.

I was blindsided. Period.

But...

I love this person and I didn't explode in anger like I really thought I would have.

I didn't freak out.

I went into calm "we need to take care of this" mode.

Oh, I've had my moments of sadness, embarrassment and anger over the last few days. For sure.

I'm not emotion-less about it, not at all.

I do not deserve this and this person has told me this.

But...

We are where we are and we have to fix it now.

See, what I've learned (I guess, because I didn't know until now that I'd learned it) is that EVERYONE makes mistakes and sometimes they are HUGE ones but, still and all, we ALL do it. We make choices to act or NOT act when we should that are mistakes.

This person was paralyzed with fear, didn't act and it has caused a big problem.

But...

Now I know and we can fix it. And now I see that this person has been suffering, silently for awhile after a pretty bad couple of years in life. This person needs my help, not my yelling and anger. Oh, they know I'm angry, hurt and disappointed but they also know, because I told them, that I know we all make mistakes.

"To err is human, to forgive divine"

Honestly, I'm not sure I could be this calm without having read that book, "Heaven is for real". It's by that little boy who had a medical emergency and gives details of Heaven, family he met there, and other things that are impossible for him to have known. Really. It really touched me.

And it made me realize that while we're here we're supposed to be learning. Nothing here is certain. Nothing here is truly 'safe'. The little boy in the book told his Mom, when she asked him if he was scared up in Heaven, "Mom, down HERE you're scared and you never know what's going to happen. In Heaven you're safe and happy ALL the time."

Well there you go.

So, if my 'person' is reading this....

I love you and I forgive you. Now let's fix it and keep moving. It's a lesson. It's a WHOPPER of a lesson but a lesson just the same...for both of us.

Are YOU a mean girl?

HI Everyone,
Recently I was at a large business meeting with many of our staff and K. We have these district-wide meetings 2x per year and our DM does a great job with them. She always gets us yummy food, has them at a convenient and nice hotel with a parking garage and gets us out early. These are 5-6 hour meetings and they've got to be ridiculously tiring for her, as it takes her whole week and just a whole day for the rest of us.
I always learn something to bring back into our business and we were, for the 13th year in a row, awarded a top level of Platinum. Our clients and staff make that possible and we are so thankful.

Unfortunately, the negative part of this meeting is the 'mean girls' who persist on acting (and dressing) like they are, oh, 12 years old and are in middle school. Certain people won't talk to or even look at certain other people and it used to bother me a lot. We attended the meeting this year having worked closely with 2 brand new business owners and seeing it through their eyes was exciting on the one hand but made me sad on another hand.
S and L opened only a couple months ago and are doing it right. They are dedicated, positive and have created a warm, caring place for folks to workout, meet friends and get fit. They are excited about every new experience and, while they've attended meetings before while working for someone else, this is the first one attending as owners themselves.
On the positive end-it was exciting to watch S get up and talk at the meeting about her new place and L there to support her. I'm sure they will be getting an award next year with all their hard work and dedication.
On the negative end-there were mean girls there who ignored them, refused to clap when S went up to talk and wouldn't even LOOK at them.
One of these people has been S's friend for a year or so and was very cold to her at the meeting in front of another person from a place S formerly worked. That latter person wouldn't even LOOK at S or L. Here's the thing, if you are someone's friend you're their friend all the time, if you're with someone who is not their friend, why would you also act like you're not their friend?
Now, while there are a couple people at these meetings that won't talk to or look at me, I could care less at this point. Your loss beyotches. One I fired for insubordination and the others are just jealous of our success. They are lame, immature, ignorant and don't deserve my time so I don't give it a second thought.
But, it broke my heart that S was upset and hurt by these immature people in her life.
Women, why DO you do that? One of these gnats in my life I once attended a social event where she was present and when I walked up to the table to say HI to everyone, she literally pretended she dropped something and didn't sit back up until I left the table. Can you say IMMATURE?
Why would you not just say a quick HI and move on? Do you think you're hurting the person you're ignoring? You're not. You look a fool. You look ignorant and ridiculous and everyone sees that.
Do you think you're punishing that person for whatever they supposedly did to you?
You're not. Again, you just look a fool.
If someone has hurt you and you have hurt someone else-put on your big girl panties and VERBALIZE. Use your words woman. Most people (not all, but most) will apologize for any slight because it may well NOT have been intentional. While there are evil people in this world (and I have met some...DH you KNOW who YOU are), most people are just misguided or misspeak and would clear things up with you in a heartbeat.
Honestly, you just look stupid when you ignore and act like a 'mean girl'.
Now, we all engage in a little gossip or write on the 'catty comment sheet' for those dressed like, ahem, ladies of the evening at a business meeting...but you can be civil and nice to all people in person, even if you dislike that person. That's having manners. You're not going up and engaging in a full blown 'fake' conversation, you're just being pleasant and saying HI.
Oh and all these women HAVE KIDS so what the hell are they teaching them? You cannot teach your kids not to bully if you do it.
So, to all you mean girls at our recent meeting-get over your damn self. All you accomplish with your 12 year old actions is looking stupid and immature. You don't have to like everyone and you can even really dislike someone but act your age for God's sake and remember something we all learned in kindergarten:
"Sticks and stones may break my bones but words (or lack thereof) will never hurt me."

Are you a planner?

Hi Folks,
Long time no blog. Hope this finds anyone still reading well and making it through this ridiculous winter...and I do mean ridiculous.
We have snow banks in our yard that are STILL 3 feet high (previously 6 feet high) and this may shorten the 15 years we said we'd wait to move back home to SoCal...we shall see.
On a nicer note, Mr. P&P graduated from BU with his Master's and his class ring is on order and I got him a nice paperweight at a local jeweler to commemorate the occasion. His diploma is up, displayed nicely in our home and I am so proud of him. Mr. P&P is an ambitious, driven guy and has a whole plan laid out for the future-which I love.
I am a planner, but he is an uber-planner!
Are you a planner?
Of course, as they say, "The best laid plans..." So even if you are a planner, you must be flexible and realize that, at times, plans must be changed, updated or you just have to 'go with the flow'...
I remember my 'original' life plan:
Get married young (done...and divorced young unfortunately) and have 2 kids young.
Uh, my kids are four legged and furry so that didn't work out "as planned" either. There's a little thing called "unexplained infertility" that got in the way.
The young divorce, while painful, was ultimately a good thing and, after many years of mourning the loss of having kids, I've come to terms with not being able to have any.
At some point, especially when your best laid plans veer out of your control, you have to learn to accept and even revel in your life as it is.
I get to be around kids all time-from K's kids whom I love like my own, to TM's kids and MO's kids who I get to look after, now and again, when they sub afternoon classes. I get to see Mel's kids too-miracles both of them and I have my furry kids who I love as much as I would love human kids of my own. I have a GREAT husband (see above) and I wouldn't certainly have met him if I was still married to the first one. We just outgrew each other, by the way...I was only 19 and he only 22 when we got married...babies. We had no business getting married but of course we knew it all so we did anyway. Stupid. I'm sure he's happy too and feels he's where he is supposed to be-just like I do.
So, remember, no matter if you're just starting out or are facing a milestone birthday-don't sit there and lament..."Oh woe is me, my plans didn't work out or aren't working out." Trust that you are just where you are supposed to be and, at some point in your life, it will all be revealed to you. That does happen, it's happened to me many times. So, I plan, Mr. P&P plans and then we travel the road 'the big guy' wants for us.
And, you know what? We are right where we are supposed to be.
Happy Friday!